Bought Lessons

I recently heard the phrase 'That's a bought lesson' when I was talking to a friend about a particular  situation. That phrase took me back to my childhood. I was raised with my two brothers by our single dad. Our parents made great kids but just couldn't make it as a couple. My dad filed for divorce and was granted custody of us three and so life began. It was a unique life to say the least. My dad was 40 when I was born so the generation gap just set us up for even more uniqueness! I learned a lot from my dad about life and those lessons apply to situations even now. I can remember growing up and some of the craziest mistakes I made were ones that I was warned about before hand. Then there were euphemisms that went along with the lessons. For example, "Y'all don't believe (that) fat meat is greasy" which is the equivalent of "You gone learn today" in today's expressive terms. My all time favorite was: "Enough is enough and too much stank!" 

At any rate, I have learned that a bought lesson is several things:

• A bought lesson is one that shouldn't even be a lesson
• A bought lesson is one that can be paid for over and over again or it can be one big lesson in which the effects can be felt for years to come
• A bought lesson can be painful on many levels
• The pain of a bought lesson will stay with you for a while or it will stay with you for life
• A bought lesson is one that you were prepared against but didn't heed to the warning

The older I get, the more I realize that a life that is made up of mostly bought lessons is one that is full of pain and regrets. But the question is how do I keep from being the proud owner of a life that is built on bought lessons???

I guess I would say that I have to live life with my eyes wide open. I need to remember the days of my youth and apply knowledge and wisdom to my present state of being. Like the saying goes: 'When you know better, you do better'. I don't like to pay for things unnecessarily so am learning to be slow to act and quick to think. I am learning that the word 'no' is necessary and needed in life. Denials are temporary--that dress (or one just as cute) will be there next time; that dessert is NOT begging for me to eat it; no, I can't sleep in just 5 more minutes! 

There is truly no feeling like that of a bought lesson!

Knowledge Vs Wisdom

Have you ever met someone that typically seems to know a little about any and every subject you could even think about bringing up? They can be kinda irritating because they emit the 'know-it-all-dare-you-to-question-me' fragrance. But it seems, to me at least, when I'm dealing with that specific type of person, they don't know how to insert the information into a 'normal' conversation. They tend to blurt out information at random intervals and sometimes the information has NOTHING to do with the conversation at hand. Maybe I'm missing something but it almost seems to me that they want you to know how much they know about EVERYTHING! As a child, I marveled at the student who could have such a conversation with adults and teachers. I wanted to be smart like them. I wanted other people to think of me as smart as I thought of the other child. I wanted that knowledge!

Fast forward to current times. I have often thought of and proudly referred to myself as an 'old-soul'. That meant that I didn't think like people that were my age thought. In my 20's, I appreciated spending time with older people because of the experiences that they shared with me. I loved listening to KKDA-AM Soul 73 because of the blues and old-time gospel music that they played. Well, I really didn't have a choice because it was what my dad decided we were listening to. But the songs, whether they were blues or gospel, told stories, had emotion, and caused emotion to flow. Many of the artists hadn't graduated from high school, let alone gone to college. But they seemed wise beyond their years. They spoke in colloquialisms....hardly ever straight forward. You had to have wisdom just to be able to follow a conversation that they were having with the radio personalities during interviews. And just listening to them singing about life through song was an experience all on its own! If I actually 'got' what they were saying, I felt like the wisest lil girl around!

If I had to choose between knowledge and wisdom, I would choose wisdom. To me, living life through the pages of a book alone, with no experience to go with it, isn't really living at all. Wisdom can take you to the right places and keep you from going to the wrong places, if you listen to it and apply it. I guess I think of wisdom as an innate sense and we are blessed with a certain measure of it. If we listen to people, and grow wisdom, we will be able to share and pass it on before we do!

I'm not knocking knowledge...I am a teacher and a life-long learner. But I know that there are some things that you just can't find in a book.

Happy New Year!!!!

Happy New Year!!!!!!!

So I'm a teacher and right about now it feels like I get two New Years a year--new supplies, a new room (yet again!!), new co-workers, and another chance to start over and fix some things that didn't go quite the way that I planned last year. The thought of making things better actually excites me! That means I get a chance to improve and to grow. That means I get to hone my leadership skills  because there are more challenges waiting for me. My daddy used to tell me there's nothing new under the sun....but that didn't mean that I wouldn't be surprised when I had to deal with things! Each year, I put down the 'old me' and pick up the 'new me', by choice. Each challenging co-worker is an opportunity for me to shine under pressure-not dull under fire. Each upset parent that I deal with is a chance for me to see the view a little differently and appreciate a new perspective.

The world of education is constantly evolving-some even for the better! I'll be honest, I look at some of my co-workers and wonder how they have managed to keep a job and I look at some of my friends who can't get the position that they so desire and would excel in, and I shake my head. I take two things from that: Never take what you have for granted and there's more to the story than I'll ever know.

Each year, I am amazed at the resilience of some of the students that I serve. They don't know what they lack because they've never had....(you fill in the blank). The students that I serve are survivors and so much more. It's my job to bring out the 'so much more'. They made it this far by surviving but I would like to see them thriving. In my mind, success is not measured by the width of the steps that you take but by the mere fact that the steps are being taken! I teach students that some have already written off. My students are my measuring stick for my personal and professional growth. Did they leave me better than they came? Did they leave me with more knowledge and ability? They don't always like me--and that's ok because sometimes the feeling is temporarily mutual--but my vision is for them to remember me as one of the ones who actually took the time and helped them evolve into a positive contributor to society. Some can be reached, and sadly, some can't. I don't make the decision as to which ones do or don't make it--I let them decide.

If you are an educator, or a parent, if you work in an after-school program, drive a school bus, work in a cafeteria, or work with children in any manner, let me first wish you a happy new year! And let me encourage you to see possibilities and not labels in the children that you serve. Smile and laugh--it truly is the best medicine. Encourage others and you will be encouraged. Share your knowledge. Embrace challenges as opportunities for growth. And whatever you do--ALWAYS THRIVE!

My View

It's all about perspective. If you talk to 10 different people about the same subject, you'll get 10 different view points. Which one is right? Which one is wrong? Which one is so far gone that you leave that person scratching your head and wondering why you even bothered to ask them in the first place?! It could be that none are wrong. Or right. It could be that you leave even more confused than you started...if you were waiting on those 10 people to make a decision for you that you should have made for yourself. In those people's minds, they were all right. To them, none were in left field. When it all boils down to it, when I'm trying to make a decision, I realize that no matter what anyone else says, I'm accountable for my actions and my decisions. I can't blame the person who gave me advice when the decision that I made goes off-track. If you've read any of my other blogs, you'll know that I believe in God and I believe in the power of prayer. I can ask one hundred people what they think I should do about my situation but in the end, it's between me and God. I'm not saying that we shouldn't include others in our decision making process, but we should use wisdom when implementing those opinions.

“One person's craziness is another person's reality.” 
― Tim Burton

Truer words have never been spoken. I really believe that 'normal' is just a setting on a washing machine. I embrace the reality that what works for one doesn't necessarily work for another--and that's ok. If I stick around long enough, I'll eventually see 'why'.

May I Never Forget

Often times, we want to stay in the negative simply because its familiar. We want out, we want a change. But our feet seem to be planted in concrete and we are unwilling to move because it is so scary to leave what we know, and move into the unknown. 

I was once told that familiarity breeds contempt.

I was forced into the unknown. I knew that where I was, was not where I was supposed to be but I didn’t know how to make a move. I didn’t know which way to go. I was afraid of making the wrong move. If I moved, and left the security that I had, be it as wrong as the day was long, where would I find such security? I knew things were bad, I knew I needed a change. But I didn’t think that I could do it by myself.

Throughout my life, I always had my dad. When I messed up, no matter how badly, I was always able to go to Dad. Yes, he would fuss, scream, and cuss, but in the end, he always pulled through for me. When he was gone, I had my husband. No, he was no where near being what my dad was to me, but he was there. It was still someone that I could depend on. Sometimes. 

But there is something about being stripped down to nothing. All of my life, I proclaimed and professed to be a God-fearing, praise-singing, Praise-The-Lord, Stomp-The-Devil-Out Christian. However, it was only until I had NO ONE ELSE to depend on, that I realized that I had NEVER fully put my trust in God.  I later recognized this and repented to God for making man my god. I prayed and told God how sorry I was. I have seen His hand in my life so many times. His timing is perfect. He has allowed me to see so many things that I would not have seen if I had not chosen to walk in His light. Yes, bad things are going to happen. No, I’m no where near perfect. I’m still going to have to face this hurt over and over again. I'm still going to lose loved ones. Im still going to forget things and miss deadlines. But that doesn’t change who God is. The only thing that changes is where I allow God to be in my life. 

One day, this episode in my life will be over. I’ll get to begin again. My prayer is that when I am once again at the mountain-top of life, that I am still fully reliant on God. That I remember that the God who was there in the valley, is the God that is on the mountain-top. I pray that I never forget the power that He has. 

Expect the Unexpected

Life is so funny....right when you think you've got it all figured out...BAM!!! You get slapped with an unexpected storm that tosses you into a bleak oblivion. You are vulnerable, you feel lost, afraid and all you want to do is eat ice cream and sleep. I've even tried the 'don't think about it and it will go away' game but of course, when the ice cream is gone and sleep can't be found anymore, the storm is still there.

Awhile ago, I learned to stop thinking that I had it all figured out. I realized that before the storm,  I had seen warning signs of impending danger and was too busy to stop and recognize the warning signs for what they were. The writing was on the wall, whether I wanted to read it or not. But I am a firm believer in the fact that it doesn't matter what the storm is, It's how you react to it that counts. I know that I have spent a lot of time processing through feelings and emotions and attempting to place blame hoping that somehow if I could do that properly, I would feel better. But I didn't. The only way that I could make it through any storm was deciding that I was still breathing so it WASN'T OVER. God didn't make that breath my last so it was up to me to pick the ball up and head for the goal line again. I was tackled by life, I even fumbled and turned over the ball when I had a clear view of the touch-down zone...I(f you know me, you know that I am not a fan of sports at all so I have no idea where that just came from!!!). But my point is this, I chose to begin again. I am a firm believer in God and I know that as long as I allow Him to be in control of my life, no storm is too big. There is NOTHING that can harm me. God chose my beginning and only He knows my ending. He allows me to decide what I do with what's in between. I pray that my choices are pleasing to Him.

Fierce: It's the only way to be

Hello and welcome to my world! I started thinking about doing this blog months ago. I did what I do best and procrastinated until a few weeks ago. A person that I still considered a friend had a blog. She was transparent in her writings and passionate in her thoughts. She left us way too early. So I decided to sort of pick up her torch (not that I will ever be as eloquent as she) and start my own little community in the blog world. I hadn't spoken to her in years but I kept up with her and her family through Facebook, as she did mine. I wish I would have taken the time to tell her how much I enjoyed her quips online and how I appreciated her allowing us into her world via words. I'm an almost-single mom of two kids. No, I never imagined that that term, 'almost-single' would ever apply to me but alas, here I am. Of course, I was devastated when he declared that he wanted a divorce and moved out, but I'm still here. I still get up every morning and I find something to smile about daily. I love my kiddos and I am determined to show them that no matter what happens in life: they can still be Fierce....because it's the only way to be! I'm excited to start this blog! I've often struggled with transparency for fear of judgement or ridicule but I've come to the realization that folks are going to do and say what they want. I have decided that no matter the uncertainties that Life throws my way, with the help of God, I'll stay Fierce!