May I Never Forget

Often times, we want to stay in the negative simply because its familiar. We want out, we want a change. But our feet seem to be planted in concrete and we are unwilling to move because it is so scary to leave what we know, and move into the unknown. 

I was once told that familiarity breeds contempt.

I was forced into the unknown. I knew that where I was, was not where I was supposed to be but I didn’t know how to make a move. I didn’t know which way to go. I was afraid of making the wrong move. If I moved, and left the security that I had, be it as wrong as the day was long, where would I find such security? I knew things were bad, I knew I needed a change. But I didn’t think that I could do it by myself.

Throughout my life, I always had my dad. When I messed up, no matter how badly, I was always able to go to Dad. Yes, he would fuss, scream, and cuss, but in the end, he always pulled through for me. When he was gone, I had my husband. No, he was no where near being what my dad was to me, but he was there. It was still someone that I could depend on. Sometimes. 

But there is something about being stripped down to nothing. All of my life, I proclaimed and professed to be a God-fearing, praise-singing, Praise-The-Lord, Stomp-The-Devil-Out Christian. However, it was only until I had NO ONE ELSE to depend on, that I realized that I had NEVER fully put my trust in God.  I later recognized this and repented to God for making man my god. I prayed and told God how sorry I was. I have seen His hand in my life so many times. His timing is perfect. He has allowed me to see so many things that I would not have seen if I had not chosen to walk in His light. Yes, bad things are going to happen. No, I’m no where near perfect. I’m still going to have to face this hurt over and over again. I'm still going to lose loved ones. Im still going to forget things and miss deadlines. But that doesn’t change who God is. The only thing that changes is where I allow God to be in my life. 

One day, this episode in my life will be over. I’ll get to begin again. My prayer is that when I am once again at the mountain-top of life, that I am still fully reliant on God. That I remember that the God who was there in the valley, is the God that is on the mountain-top. I pray that I never forget the power that He has.